The Radleys

We all, in a self-censoring way, believe we are Scout. We aspire to be Atticus - strong, noble, and godly - but realize we will always be children looking up to an ideal. But here's the hard truth: we are all just Boo Radleys. Nothing more, and nothing less. We are all forsaken, misshapen, scared, and scary. We hide out in the dark corners of our lives - coming out only when there is no one to truly see or recognize us - to drop small pieces of ourselves in the hollow of a tree. And in the end, if we do anything worthy or noble, it is to expose our ugly selves in order to carry another. This is love. This is that vulnerable, lonely, awkward power that alone coerces us out of our house at the end of the lane.

Credo

I believe in erring on the side of mercy. I believe in the great and terrible and wonderful humanity in us all. I believe in personal experience. What else do we know? I believe that each of us is as ungodlike as the next person.

I think that every person should keep their religion, no matter what it may be. Catholics should stay Catholic, Muslims should stay Muslim, Jews should stay Jewish, Mormons should stay Mormon. And each person should keep their religion...each person should give their souls to the moral framework that they believe in. But this is not an absolute rule. I believe in changing religions when the time is right. I don't like the word "conversion" because it sets up an ideal that only gets broken over time, but to leave your religion for another one can be the most courageous and noble thing a person ever does...when the time is right. The time is not right when one religion offers a slackened sense of responsibility or moral firmness. The time is not right when one religion justifies your current actions or thought processes better than another. The time is not right when conveniences are afforded or non-spiritual things are to be gained. But the time can be right when one religion fills your spirit more than another. When a person seeks self-sacrifice, discipline, faith, honesty, humility, and above all love...then the time may be right. A Catholic may need to prostrate himself five times a day in prayer and submission towards Mecca. A Muslim may need to wait with faith and eagerness each year at the Passover table for his King to come. A Jew may need to wash herself clean in Christ's bloodsweat. And yes, A Mormon may need to taste the bloodwine of Mass and cry to a Gentle Mother rather than an angry Lord. What are we doing this religion thing for, anyway? We long to be one of God's people. We ache to stop aching. And we starve to fill the countless holes in our hearts and to silence the screaming ghosts from our past.

Me personally, I believe in a Father full of light and a Mother driven to silence by heartache and love. I believe in Jesus the man and Jesus the God. I believe in a broken body and a forsaken heart that maybe, just maybe, understands mine. I believe in a power to heal, and a faith to be healed. I believe that after this life, the human battles that I fought in the cluttered space of my head and on the horizonless landscape of my soul will be the only topic of conversation, the only source of regret, the only reason to smile, and the only identity I will have. I don't expect fanfare when I arrive or iron gates to shut me out. I don't expect to hear "Thou wasteful fool," or "Thou good and faithful servant." I only expect to be held.