diary: adult

Thursday
The black sky is wholesale purging its stores. I stand leglocked by the window and stare as the rest of the office clicks and tittles away. I have never seen rain like this. I am a shameless gawker. I turn to the girl sitting closest to me but realize I have nothing to say. I look out the window again just in time to see a man's shoe fall onto a parked Buick.

Friday
I run over an (apple?) the size of a terrier on my way out of Dodge. Better than a terrier the size of an apple. I think. My car starts complaining.

Saturday
The only difference between your portobello sandwich and my caprese sandwich is that your squeaky mass is black and mine is white. Also today, I fall asleep to the sound of clouds arguing.

Sunday
Stripped to his intentions, man is but a tantrum of seagulls. Woman, a riot of wildflowers. Or a painting of windmills.

Monday
Phone.

Tuesday
Meet Dave for lunch at a romantic patisserie. Reminds me of the time we almost saw 500 Days of Summer together. Alone together. Cultural doesn't supplant romantic. Dave uses the word 'erect' in a non-sexual context. We are finally adults. (Ten minutes later when Amber comes we use the word 'poo' 17 times.)

Wednesday
Discover that orchids are most desirable as a plant, not a flower. Orchids belong to the same family as Vanilla. Some can self-reproduce. The name orchid literally means testicle. Happy first day of school, girlfriend.